I had an incredibly beautiful evening last night at a friend’s house. She had invited me and a handful of other people she knows in the wellness world to come try out a new product that’s in the early stages of development and being the total wellness-product junkie that I am, I jumped at the chance. When we got to her place, she had laid out a gorgeous spread of healthy snacks and we all chatted and nibbled a bit before digging into some really exciting co-creative discussions about the potential and vision of the new product at hand. After we wrapped up the business side of things, many of us stuck around to hang out more casually. We shared stories, played/listened to music, nibbled on chocolate, and laughed A LOT, and as I was driving home, all I could think was, “How is this my life?! How did I end up surrounded by such interesting, kind-hearted, and inspiring people?” And I knew immediately that the answer was, “because I created this for myself.”

Two years ago, my social landscape looked incredibly different than what it does today. I had no shortage of social opportunities and was out a dinner parties and gatherings frequently, and yet, I always felt like something was missing, that I wasn’t quite where I was supposed to be. Right around that time, I went through a break up that was incredibly painful, particularly because my partner and I had not lost a single ounce of love for one another and yet somehow couldn’t reconcile our differing visions of our futures. What it really came down to was that we wanted different lifestyles that really just weren’t compatible and so, instead of staying in the relationship and compromising things that were truly important to each of us, we opted to let each other go.

In the wake of our break up, I realized that I had a huge opportunity to give my pain a purpose and decided that, if I was going to lose someone I had loved so dearly in order to have the kind of life that I wanted, then I had better go all in creating that life and make it as wonderfully fulfilling and joyful as possible. So that’s what I set out to do.

My vision was clear. I wanted to be surrounded by people that value community, wellness, creativity, and heart-centered living. I craved intimate gatherings with people that felt like family and opportunities to feel like I was part of something greater than myself. I wanted to be around people that I could learn from, people that inspired me, and people who felt the same about me. I dreamt of a community of artists, creatives, and healers who co-created amazing things and celebrated each other’s successes. I imagined feeling warm, loved, and immense gratitude in their presences.

I knew that dreaming wasn’t enough, however, so I channeled my desires into aligned action and I created the life that I wanted, piece by piece. It took courage to show up at event after event, alone, since most of my friends at the time didn’t share my interests. Swimming in the vulnerability of putting myself out there socially and not knowing whether or not I would be received was not easy, but I believed that there was a possibility of a life that felt so much more joyful and fulfilling for me, and I can look back now and see that I must have also decided that I deserved to have that life as well.

It is so easy to assume that what we want is out of reach, or that we don’t have options beyond what we see immediately in front of us. But, if you’re feeling discontent or lackluster about your life, whether that relates to your social life or your work or simply how you feel when you wake up in the morning, pay attention to that. If you feel like there might be something more for you out there, then I would be willing to bet that there is. Dig into that feeling. Explore it. Ask it what it craves. And when you find the answer, please please please trust that you deserve it. Because you do. We all do. And it’s time that more of us start believing that.