Weekly Forecast Monday July 6th, 2020

Monday 7/6 – Whale - The call for today is to find your voice and, while that can certainly include speaking your truth more boldly, it’s about much more than what you say. You have unique gifts that you are meant to share during your time on this earth and it’s time for you to offer them up. If you’re not sure what those are, reconnect with the things that brought you joy as a child. The things that light you up and inspire you are not random and are absolutely connected to your purpose and destiny. 

Tuesday 7/7 – Deer Reversed - Compassion for others begins with how we hold our own shadows and wounds. If we’ve found that we’re being hypercritical or unnecessarily harsh towards those around us, it might be time to look within and inquire about whether or not the standards we hold ourselves and others to are actually fair or kind. Forgive yourself and those around you where you can, as much for your own healing as for theirs. If you need to still keep someone at a distance in order to honor your own boundaries and wellbeing, then do so, but make sure that it’s done in the spirit of love.

Wednesday 7/8 – Hawk Reversed – Spirit is speaking to us constantly, but it’s difficult to hear the soft whispers of our intuition when we are feeling frazzled, over-stimulated, and moving at a frenetic pace. Slow down. Catch your breath. Center yourself through grounding practices like meditation, gentle movement, or time in nature. Even a few minutes with your bare feet on the earth can powerfully shift your energetic state and support you in coming back home to your body. Once you are able to tune into the wisdom of your subtle senses again, you’ll be much more able to see your present circumstances with clarity and determine what the next right step is. 

Thursday 7/9 – Lynx Reversed  – Whether you stumbled into some information that wasn’t intended for you or you’re simply a very perceptive person that tends to just know things about people, it’s important to remember that knowledge is power and power needs to be wielded responsibly. Be mindful of any temptation to talk behind others’ backs or to confront people with truths that they may not be ready to receive. Trust that any insights you’ve gained are meant more for your own reflection and healing and that anything that’s meant to come to light will in its own time. 

Friday 7/10 – Salmon Reversed – The messages around tuning more deeply into our inner knowing continue today as Salmon in the reversed position asks us to listen to our desires and to honor their wisdom. It’s important to note that this doesn’t require us to run out and buy a plane ticket to Paris just because we’ve had a vision of the Eiffel Tower. While some people may have intuitive gifts that present in very literal ways, for most of us, the messages are more subtle, layered, and personal. Look for the meaning within the messages you are receiving. Do they remind you of something? What feeling do they leave you with? Do they call forth a part of you that you had forgotten about? And if so, in what way can you start taking steps to bring that part of your inner truth into your day to day life?

Saturday 7/11 – Porcupine  – The world can be a heavy place sometimes and it can be all too easy to become jaded or shut down, but Porcupine reminds us of the importance of staying connected to our inner child. Make time for creativity and play today. Spend time with people who bring out your softness and vulnerability. Do something silly just to make yourself laugh and to loosen up the tension that builds up from the stresses of life. These things may seem simple and even frivolous but they are absolutely vital to our ability to create healthy and fulfilling lives, so make sure that you are honoring the child-like spirit that will always live within you. 

Sunday 7/12 – Turkey Reversed – If you’ve been feeling either that you don’t have enough or that you aren’t enough, the anti-dote might be counter-intuitive--find a way to give back. You always have something to offer the world, even if that is only your time or a simple act of kindness. Find a way to be of service today and notice how the act of giving actually amplifies your experience of abundance. 

If you’d like to book a private card reading for more in-depth and personalized messages around what the days and weeks ahead hold for you or to gain clarity around specific issues or areas of your life, check out my Intuitive Card Readings page for more information on my card reading offerings, rates, and how to book!

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The Long Journey Home

I honestly can’t remember a time in my childhood when I felt comfortable in my own skin. I’ve had to work pretty hard for that and only now as I am on the tail-end of the third decade of my life am I starting to embrace the full spectrum of the being that I am. Not that that’s always a graceful or seamless process even these days. 

I still feel like I talk too much and manage to pull off astounding levels of awkwardness in some of the most seemingly straightforward social situations. For anyone who has ever seen me as “cool” for even a brief moment in time, God love you. To me the essence of true coolness is being so deeply secure in who you are that you just radiate ease and warmth. No need to judge others or to get too ruffled by anything anyone does because you just love and accept who you are and are therefore able to extend the same grace to others.

I work on this practice daily. It’s a mix of shadow work, radical self love, and authentic embodiment work and I don’t imagine I’ll ever run out of material to dig into. 

I can remember coming home from school in first grade, marching upstairs and into the bathroom, and climbing right up onto the sink so I could get as close to the mirror as possible.

I would look not really at but into myself. I would search for who I was inside the little shell of a girl who never felt like her spirit matched the body she was given for this go round. 

I sometimes stared into the mirror for so long that my features would stop making any sense and I’d no longer be completely sure which side of the mirror I was even on.

I started a new school at the beginning of sixth grade and decided that, since I wouldn’t know a soul there, it was my chance to try a different version of myself on for size.

On my first day of school, when my teacher called my name during roll, I raised my hand and told her with a nonchalant smile that, “I actually go by Dottie.” 

She seemed confused and I said something vague about it being a family nickname and that no one calls me “Ashley”.

I’m still not sure how, at 10 years old, I was able to summon enough bravado to tell such a lie with a completely straight face, but my teacher either bought it or decided to just forgo trying to sort through what was going on with the odd little new student in her class and for the rest of that year, I was “Dottie”.

The next year my father moved my sister and me out to the outskirts of Houston where we lived part time in a commune and part time with the mother of one of my dad’s friends while he lived in an apartment in downtown Houston. I never saw anyone from my sixth grade class again, but all of the farewell notes from my friends in my yearbook from that year say things like, “See you next year, Dottie!” and “Have a great summer, Dottie!”.

I guess if I ran into any of my friends from that school on the street today, I would still be “Dottie” to them.

I’m not sure that my family ever really fully knew about my little sixth grade social experiment. My dad did seem somewhat bemused when friends from school would call our house and ask for “Dottie”, but I just told him that it was just something friends from school called me.

At home, to him and my sister and any of the other cast of characters that might be living with us at any given time, I was always “Ashley”.

I never tried to change my name again but that certainly wasn’t the end of my identity exploration.

From high school to college to the handful of years working odd jobs post-graduation and even into my time in graduate school, I shaped-shifted time and time again.

I jumped from one social group to another, tapping into different parts of myself within the context of each scene. 

Each version was a slice of the truth. But when you build friendships based on only a fraction of who you are, they often stop feeling like a fit once the full range of your being starts seeping through. And it always does eventually.

It took years for me to stop playing the roles of whoever it was that I thought people wanted me to be and to just start allowing the full weight of who I actually am to land and to be willing to deal with the consequences of that.

But what a relief it was to finally stop trying to keep so much of myself tucked in.

I still have moments where I catch myself in the mirror and wonder who is in there, behind the eyes inside this vessel that still doesn’t always feel like mine.

The difference now though is that the question feels lighter because I know the answer will never be one thing. And that I don’t need to go searching for myself.

I’m right here. I’ve always been right here. 

All I needed to do was create space for my truth to come through and then welcome every bit of it  in, without exception, when it does.