Jay Cadet is a relationship coach who helps unmarried, millennial couples build strong relationships they can feel confident committing to for the long haul. He lives in Harlem, NYC and typically can be found roaming around exploring the city, hanging out at museums or hunting down the next burger joint to try out. With an incredibly full work and personal life, it’s super important that he stays on top of his wellness game, and here, he shares how he does just that.
I’m typically up at 5am on workout days and 6am otherwise. Post workout, I like to eat, relax and clear my mind before even thinking about work. The mornings are my me-time. No TV, no social media or emails. It gives me an opportunity to just be present and enjoy the start of my day without stress or responsibility.
I work long hours these days (my wife and I are in the early stages of a new start-up, so it’s grind season!), so I’m usually working until 10 -11pm. However, I always make it a point to get a few healthy breaks in between to eat, get fresh air, play basketball, grab a coffee with a friend, etc. It’s those mid-day breaks that keep me sane working all those hours!
But, like my morning me-time, I also make sure to fit in us-time with my wife over dinner every night. Even though we spend our nights and weekends working together, it’s important to connect over non-work discussions to make sure we nurture our marriage and not just our business.
If it weren’t for my wife, my diet would be pretty boring! I like to eat for function, so as long as I’m getting enough protein, carbs and veggies, I typically eat the same thing daily, lol. Things get switched up either when we eat out or when she cooks, which is 2-3 times a week. Breakfast: Protein shake with peanut butter post-workout. 4 scrambled eggs (only 1 yolk), a sautéed sweet potato, and a banana. I usually have a bowl of raisin nut bran as a mid-morning snack or a greek yogurt with fruit. Lunch: A chicken and spinach salad with tomatoes, avocado, feta cheese, and non-creamy caesar dressing or (2) peanut butter (always natural pb!) and jelly sandwiches on whole wheat. Snacks: I love a good trail mix in the afternoon! Dinner: My go-to dinner that I usually meal-prep for is brown rice, black beans, grilled chicken and broccolli. Drink: I drinks lots of water. Nothing tastes better to me than borderline-ice cold water. Although there are days when I seriously crave slurpees from 7-11! Splurge: I love exploring burger joints around the city. Unfortunately, they’re typically super expensive, so I don’t go often. But when I do, it’s always worth it! I have yet to have a burger I didn’t enjoy. Supplements: None at the moment.
When it comes to being active, I’m either lifting weights or I’m playing basketball. I hit the gym at least 3 times a week for an hour workout. On my in-between days, I do ab workouts and play ball if I have time.
When it comes to working out, I have to be having fun. I don’t take it too seriously, because I probably won’t stick with it if I do. So I find regimens which are challenging but that I actually enjoy and take it a step at a time.
I also don’t like working out alone, so I’m usually at the gym with one of my friends or my wife. It makes a HUGE difference when I have someone holding me accountable!
The closest thing I’ve done to a class was p90x last year and LOVED it. I made so much progress in those 3 months, not just physically, but with my confidence as well. So shout out to Tony Horton!
My love language is quality time, so that’s what I value most in it. My wife is my best friend, and having a deep emotional intimacy set the foundation for everything else to work well.
To me, some of the key elements of any healthy relationship are honesty, respect and empathy.
These are qualities that not only serve you well during the good times, but make it so much easier to navigate the difficult times in a relationship as well.
I like a chill, laid back vibe in my home. I’m also a minimalist, so things in my apartment are usually neat and in order. It helps me feel comfortable and relaxed.
There’s nothing like burning some incense, playing some neo-soul, opening all the doors/windows and just relaxing on a nice day. Nothing beats that!
Stress-Release and Centering Tools
When it comes to handling stress, it depends on the situation. Sometimes, when I feel overwhelmed, just talking out loud (whether someone is listening or not, lol) works wonders and helps me think through situations more clearly.
Journaling is also a go-to stress reliever for me. It helps when I can get my thoughts out of my head and onto paper or put them into real words.
Other times, just listening to music or, if I have time, playing basketball helps me to disconnect from whatever is stressing me out and come back refreshed.
Oh! I also have to throw eating and sleeping in there as well. Sometimes, stress and bad moods simply come from being hungry and/or tired!
I’m happiest when I’m just hanging out with friends and family. Nothing adventurous or exciting even needs to be happening. Just chillin’ and enjoying each other’s company is where my joy comes from. Those are the moments when I’m most grateful for life.
My sense of purpose comes from my experiences in seeing how much relationships impact our families and communities and through my gift in being able to help people make theirs healthy.
I also pray often. Doing so keeps me grounded in my faith and purpose in life.
We’re expecting our first child in January! I couldn’t be more excited to embark on the journey of fatherhood right now. It’s an entirely different sense of purpose and responsibility that gives life so much more meaning. I can’t wait until baby Cadet arrives :)